Living with a Functioning Alcoholic Husband What Are My Options?

When he is sober, tell him that you are concerned about his drinking and the impact it is having on your family, and encourage him to seek treatment at a qualified rehab facility. It may be a source of enlightenment to him just how far-reaching his alcohol abuse has become. https://ecosober.com/ However, if your husband is in denial about the extent of his drinking, then he may not be ready or willing to consider seeking treatment.

How Does Denial Play Into Addiction?

In any case, when we use denial to defend ourselves or cope with what we feel, we contradict the reality of a situation or attempt to adjust to a circumstance by neglecting its impact. Unlike more visibly severe cases of alcoholism, functioning alcoholics often avoid detection for years. However, the long-term damage—to physical health, relationships, and emotional well-being—can be just as devastating. To help without enabling, set clear boundaries that discourage harmful behaviors. Avoid covering for their actions, making excuses for them, or assisting them in ways that make it easier to continue unhealthy drinking patterns.

• With enablers in place, a person with alcohol use disorder is free to continue in the progression of the disease—until they hit bottom.
• For instance, say, “I’m worried about how much you’ve been drinking.” These kinds of statements feel less like an attack and more like an actual concern.
• If this is not the case, your detailed examination of your own emotional CV might offer clues as to why their anger presents such a problem for you.
• While these actions can temporarily diffuse the situation, they create a sense of false normality and can lead the person to believe that there’s no problem at all.

How to Support an Alcoholic with Treatment

A loved one in denial about their alcohol use disorder can be a heartbreaking and frustrating situation. At PROMIS, we’re committed to helping individuals through an empathetic and non-judgemental approach to addiction treatment. The notion that one is “in denial” seems to have taken on a life of its own as an agent of many ills and as a catchphrase for people who dismiss the implications of their behavior. Although denial is considered to be a defense often used by people with addictive tendencies, its attributions reach beyond those struggling with substances. We can deny a fact, deny responsibility, deny the impact of our actions, or deny what is really going on by hiding from our feelings.

Approaching an Alcoholic in Denial

Outpatient treatment is best for mild alcohol addictions, and it allows patients to attend doctor and therapy visits while still living at home. Inpatient treatment is best for moderate to severe alcohol addictions or people who have relapsed. Inpatient treatment involves living on-site at the detox or rehab facility, an approach that keeps patients in a healing environment and allows for better monitoring and treatment.

• Through family therapy, loved ones learn how to support the recovery process while healing from the impacts of addiction on their relationships.
• If you see the warning signs of alcoholism, and if communication hasn’t broken down entirely, you may want to take an honest, compassionate and direct approach with your spouse.
• When trying to help an alcoholic in denial, there are crucial steps to follow and key factors to consider to encourage the person to seek help and support.

• Honesty is often the first thing to go in the course of alcohol use disorder.
• “Part of the person feels it’s easier not to think about the situation, and lets it go because it feels like it’s too much to handle right now,” Scholl says.
• By dismissing the issue, they avoid acknowledging that their drinking has become problematic and refuse to engage in meaningful conversations about seeking help or making changes.
• The prospect of giving up alcohol can be frightening, especially for those who have used it as a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, or underlying mental health disorders.
• Learning about the different signs, symptoms, and effects of addiction can help you better understand what your loved one is going through.

Denial2 is closely related to blame, and it can serve as a defense mechanism among people living with alcohol addiction. Many people find themselves in denial about their addiction because it protects them from the painful reality that alcohol has taken control over their lives. Interventions may be necessary in some cases where the person is resistant to https://ecosober.com/blog/how-to-help-an-alcoholic-in-denial/ seeking help on their own. By involving loved ones and a professional interventionist, strategies can be developed to encourage the person struggling with alcoholism to recognise the need for professional assistance.

Enabling Behaviors

A prime example of a couple turning their marriage around despite alcoholism is President Gerald Ford and First Lady Betty Ford. No one really knew the extent of her illness, however, with the support of her husband, she was able to get treatment and even went on to create the Betty Ford Clinic. Thousands have undergone treatment there, breaking free of the cycle of alcohol addiction. The word ‘alcoholic’ is still widely used in everyday language to describe a person who seems to drink too much or too often.

Spotting behavior patterns that suggest denial

While this can make you feel hopeless about the situation, it doesn’t mean you are powerless to do anything about it. When possible, gently encourage them to seek professional help so that they can get the treatment they deserve. The term alcoholic refers to a person with a condition known as alcohol use disorder (AUD). The disorder makes a person who has it experience an intense desire for alcohol even when it adversely affects their health. However, referring to a person with this condition as an alcoholic has negative connotations that can be harmful and hurtful. Learn more about what the term alcoholic means, why we know longer use it, and how having an alcohol use disorder can affect a person’s life, health, relationships, and ability to function.

According to Conroy, it may be easy to get caught in denial with AUD if you subconsciously feel something is wrong with you at your core. It also might mean admitting that they don’t have it all together, and their exterior (and interior) world is crumbling. “In some families, drinking too much is seen as comical, not a big deal, or a must during celebrations,” she adds. Consequently, many people may not realize their drinking has become a genuine problem.

Addiction Treatment

As the enabling continues, they are disabled https://erahalati.com/success-story-an-amazing-journey-to-sobriety-3/ from addressing their alcohol use disorder. The one enabling is doing this to fulfill their needs while believing they are helping the alcoholic. In the meantime, you may want to consider joining a support group for loved ones of alcoholics.

Ultimately, overcoming blame involves a commitment to self-awareness and acceptance. It requires individuals to take ownership of their recovery journey, learning from past mistakes and using them as motivation for positive change. By shifting focus from blame to proactive self-improvement, individuals can build a foundation for long-term sobriety and improved relationships with family and friends. Codependency can occur when an alcoholic’s behavior controls an individual. They seek approval and love from their partner as they take on the caretaker role and feel needed in the relationship. They may believe this is the only way the alcohol user Substance abuse will stay with them.